I refrain from getting embroiled in political debate in public arenas such as social media. Of late, I feel completely vindicated in my decision to dispense with my TV set a number of years ago. When I am in venues which have a public television set on the go all day, I feel the physical effects within me of the desperation, hatred and panic that is coming in waves via the media. It is tangible.
Today, however, I have felt compelled to write – I have an instinctive urge to respond, in particular, to my sisters out there who have been airing their outrage at the recent election results and then commenting on what ‘we’ as women ‘should’ be doing about it.
As a true Feminist, I believe in universal equality – ie, equality for all – race, gender, age, faith, sexuality ….. I also believe that we need celebrate our beautiful differences and appreciate our diversity and what is unique about each person, culture, faith, et al …..
What we are witnessing right now is the physical manifestation, in one human body, of centuries of patriarchal domination. Now, let’s be absolutely clear here – this is not about individual men or even maleness being at fault, this is about the prolonged imbalance of a form of masculinity gone awry over a period of time. Compounded over the centuries by the cowardice of male dominated institutions which feared the creative power of women and, holding sway, subdued and oppressed the feminine (and any culture/ way of being, ‘different’ to its own) into a place of oppression and submission.
The man now in charge of the most powerful nation in the world, is simply a personification of that mindset. For me, the election of this man is an indication that the rise of balance is actually happening – it is a backlash towards the threat of real and lasting change, one final attempt to retain domination. We can see from the discussions that most people, in contrast, seemingly understand about equality as they watch on in disbelief at the happenings across the water and in their own country. They understand that this type of power is not what we want anymore – many have become awakened to the fact that we are potentially on the brink of repeating an historical pattern, and the beginnings of change occur when we first recognise our pattern – we can then consciously write a new one. So, it will be interesting to see how that develops.
Back to the issue of masculinity and femininity. Over the past couple of years, I have come to love and appreciate the beauty of true masculinity. The true masculine will defend the feminine in her maiden, he is the warrior consort who will protect her to the death. He is in awe of her creative and destructive power (Kali) and in reverence of her ability to nurture, to love and to mother. He honours her wisdom as she develops into crone. He is the Oak King, simultaneously gentle and strong, who serves and pays homage to his Queen enabling her to grow and develop as a woman through all of her stages of life. He is the beautiful, courageous, silently powerful, mighty man, getting on with the job of quietly providing for her whilst he gently nudges her forwards as she nurtures all of her creations, grows her dreams and reciprocally tends to all of his needs. Perfectly balanced!
On Social Media this week, I have seen women angry, of course they are, that is to be expected. However, I have also seen women displaying aggression and talking about ‘the fight’ we now have on our hands about ‘standing up’ and marching etc etc etc . This type of rhetoric is unhelpful to us – recalcitrance, truculence, confrontation and being generally disobliging is not what is going to ‘win’ this situation over.
The last thing we need right now is women standing in the same pseudo masculinity that some men have been standing in for the past couple of millennia. What society needs right now is women living and personifying their true feminine. I am not talking about the wishy washy, meaningless, fleeting statements about how ‘everything is love’ – this is tantamount to putting our fingers in our ears and singing ‘la la la’, disconnecting ourselves from what is actually happening and hoping that by wishing or praying for it to be different, it will magically change. This isn’t going to happen!
What I am talking about is probably a complete mindset shift for some women (I know, I have been through it). This is about taking action – actively demonstrating our love for the masculine. This isn’t about sitting in all female groups talking about a feminine centric society. True balance comes when we demonstrate our own attributes and love and nurture the masculine. This begins at home, with our partners, our brothers, our fathers and our sons. In our communities, with our colleagues, our friends, our businesses.
It’s not about confrontation and disagreements. It’s not about busting through glass ceilings and competing with men in an arena that we have been told we ‘should’ (that word again) have and that we don’t, in truth, actually want. It’s about fearlessly reconnecting with what comes naturally to us and re-forging our path in an arena that is truly ours. Be confident about your femininity and first and foremost spend some time learning what it actually is, rather than what someone else has told you it ‘should’ be!
Go within sisters, then come out and do something truly unique and genuine. Be the woman that you are. What the world needs right now, rather than women dressed up as men, is women actually being women – our men need it too, so that they can emerge and be the men they have the capability of being and, in truth, we want and need them to be right now. We can all the reclaim our territories and for men, this strange territory that bears no relation to the masculinity I have come to know and love.
Stay True, Stay Balanced